An Apology Can Bring God Glory and Heal Relationships

Dear friends,

I have several ministry tools in and around my desk: commentaries, Bible dictionaries, theology books, and a little booklet that gives me step by step instruction for confessing and apologizing. Perhaps that last item surprises you? Well I assure you, I have used it. Pastors are just as capable of sinning and hurting another person as anyone else. But I am not writing to confess anything now (thanks be to God). I wanted to share a helpful list from the little booklet.

Here are Eight A’s of Confession from Peacemaker Ministries (1):

• Address everyone involved (Ps. 41:4; Luke 19:8).
• Avoid if, but, and maybe (Ps. 51).
• Admit specifically your:

1. Sinful attitudes (Mt. 15:19; James 4:11).
2. Sinful words (Pr. 12:18; Eph. 4:29; Ex. 20:16; 1 Tim 5:13; Titus 2:3).
3. Sinful actions (Mt. 5:37; Mark 10:42-45; Rom. 13:1-7).

• Apologize. Express sincere sorrow for the way you affected that person.
• Accept the consequences (Luke 15:19; Nu. 5:5-7; Luke 19:8).
• Alter (change) your behavior (Eph. 4:22-32).
• Ask for forgiveness (Gen. 50:17).
• Allow time to pass. Sometimes people need time before they can forgive you.

“Remember our goal in confessing is not just to make ourselves feel better [although we typically do]. Our goal is to glorify God and bring healing and comfort to the person we have wronged” (2). Some of us need to put these into use right away. And some of us need to put this list in our desk, so it is ready when we need it.

Your servant,

Stephen

Rev. Stephen St. John