Observations After 20 Years of Christian Marriage

Dear friends,

I make no apology for the personal nature of this message, since I am writing on my 20th Wedding Anniversary.  Here I will list 20 observations on marriage after 20 years:

1. I love my wife Jennifer as much today as when we were first married (even more if that is possible).
2. Jennifer is my best friend in the whole world.
3. We have each changed a lot in 20 years, but have grown closer together rather than further apart.  If I am “not the man she fell in love with and married” that is probably a good thing.
4. The best thing we did at the beginning of our marriage was to make following Jesus our number one priority.  We have failed Him at times, but He has never failed us.
5. Jennifer and I wish we had worried a lot less about money over the years.  God has always taken care of our needs.
6. I know I have hurt Jennifer’s feelings many times through insensitivity, but I wish I never had.
7. Jennifer and I usually make our decisions together.
8. Only once in 20 years have I made a big decision for our family that Jennifer did not agree with.  Only once!  While I believe the Bible teaches male headship in the marriage this is not something that should happen all the time.
9. I am not trying to be humble when I admit Jennifer is smarter and more intuitive then I.  She usually sees things more clearly than I do.  A wise husband will listen to his wife!
10. Jennifer and I still “date” routinely and I always look forward to our time out together.
11. Jennifer is the person I telephone and sms the most!  We always keep track of one another throughout the day.
12. Intimacy in marriage only gets better. (There. I said it!)
13. I think my wife is very beautiful and find the few gray hairs on her head attractive.  They are proof that she has lovingly put up with me for many years.  Getting (just a little bit) older together is fun.
14. It was Jennifer who first wanted to have a big family.  She asked me to look in the Bible for verses that said having lots of kids was a bad thing! (I could not find those verses by the way)
15. I can honestly say Jennifer and I have always supported each other in front of the kids.  Woe, woe, woe unto the child in our house who tries to turn mom and dad against each other!
16. I have had to ask forgiveness many times and Jennifer has always given it.
17. We pray together most every night before bed.  This has been one of the greatest blessings of our marriage.
18. We think “his needs” and “her needs” are less important then “God’s will” and we think it is God’s will for each of us to serve like Christ in our marriage.
19. The best times in our 20 years have been the times when we read scripture and pray the most!  The worse times have been when we chased after worldly things.
20. Our favorite prayer together has been, “Lord we will do whatever you want us to do and go wherever you want us to go.”

Your servant,